It's probably not a good idea to be writing on this at 4 in the morning...  Yes, it's 4 a.m. And no, I'm not asleep like a normal person. Why?  I have no idea.  It's been impossible for me to go to sleep before 4:30... one night last week I was awake until 9 in the morning.  It's ridiculous.  I'm so tired both physically and mentally.... And naps, yeah no, I can't take those either.  Sleep is just hard to come by.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. On the 18th I got braces. Then on the 21st I got my wisdom teeth out, a baby tooth pulled and a cyst in the roof of my mouth taken out.  No fun.  The recovery was rough... and it's been real hard to start eating again. I want a hambuger or pizza so badly!, but I just can't eat things like that yet.... The weight loss has been nice...

Good night.

Well, I guess it's time for an update!  Let's see, what has happened....

The end of school.  This was my first all A semester!!!!!  I am really proud of myself.  Goodbyes... ugg... I hate the end of school, it's just so hard to tell these friends that you love bye for three months.  And then those that are graduating...

Well, Carrie Underwoods "Starts With Goodbye" became kinda the theme song for that transition, and has kind of evolved into the theme song for my summer... not sure I am too happy about that, but well, it just kinda happened.... I don't really know why it happened because I'm not the one moving on!, but I guess sometimes we live through our friends... I tourtured myself by listening to it most of the way to and from England...  Here's a snippet:

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

And speaking of England, it's been a week since we've been back!  Oh my goodness, amazing, amazing, amazing trip.  I have a real hard time summarzing it, so I'm not even going to try... I'm much better at talking about it in person... and most of yall have heard about it anyway... or are going to real soon.... But yeah, God gave us some awesome opportunties and it was just incredible  I think I grew a lot, not too sure how because I still haven't taken the time to process it, but I did.  How can you not from an experience like that? 

Well, then I came back and the real summer began.  I started my internship with the Tomball-Spring Times.  And my first story is due today, I think in like an hour.... hmm... I might should get on that.  But yeah, it's gonna be so good.  I feel almost like a real journalist... Tomorrow I start work for my dad.  That will be fun.  I have a family reunion next weekend. I start a class on June 4.  I'm going to be teaching vbs for my 8th year the second week of June. I'm going to miller heights camp in July.  Yeah, it's gonna be a good summer.  If I just didn't have so many people that I miss....

Oh, and props to Jordin for winning.  She's amazing! 

A month from today we will be getting back from England... wow.  It's crazy to think that after all this preparation and all the anticiaption, it will be over so quickly.  That's why every moment will have to count while we are there...

I made it through last week. It took lots and lots of caffeine and staying up until 4:30 one night, but I got everything finished.  I now really have nothing to do, well, except for catch up on my journalism stories... but other than that, I'm done. Last night I took my Social Psych final, woohoo!, I am so glad to be done with that class.

I can't believe that two weeks from today my semester will be over and I will be going home... um, wow. I'm not ready for that....

Well, the obvious thing I should be writing about is Virginia Tech.  But what is there to say?  How does anyone express their feelings about this?  For me, this is hitting harder than 9/11.  This is real.  This could have happened to me or on my friends campuses.  In yearbook we were talking about it, and the one word was reality.  And that is the word that has helped explain this to myself. This is reality.  College is reality.

I just looked through the pictures and everything in the package that was sent to NBC.  It's all just crazy.  I can't believe that nothing was done to keep him away from people.  I can't believe the school psychologists let him free.  I can't believe no one did anything when his english teacher told them about his writings.  There is documentation of people saying he has problems, so why was nothing done?  There were so many clues, so many signs that something like this would eventually happen. 

Cho didn't just do this because he got mad, he did it because he is mentally ill.  Now, I'm the first person to be against using that as a way to avoid justice.  I'm all for Andrea Yates being in jail and whatnot.  After they commit the crime, I'm all for justice being served.  But things like this can be prevented, and I am for that. 

 I think that instead of putting all the focus on making our campuses safer, a lot of focus also needs to be put on people with antisocial personality disorders, and tendencies toward that.  Warning signs of it are indentifiable.  We need some better psychological testing for those with the signs and better ways to keep them away from the public.

Any thoughts?